Hello everybody reading this!  I hope you are well.  I am well rested and ready to take on the world after a nice vacation on the beach in Florida.  To tell you the truth, even if you are broken,e try to take a couple weeks vacation.  It’s good for your mind, body and spirit!

I’m writing about something that has happened to me recently, and I want to share my insight with you. I’m hoping that you can take something from my experience and really make you think, and hopefully help you with your life.

I’ve always been different.  As a child I was overweight, and artsy.  I’m an empath, medium, psychic  and very, very sensitive.  I was also bullied.  A lot. From childhood through adulthood, and even into the workplace, by others as well as my family.   You see, I always put up with the behavior because I always felt I had to keep a ‘stiff upper lip’.  Even in the workplace(which is the most embarrassing of my bullying, since I’m an adult).  I always felt I had no choice.  As child, I was shunned and not accepted, spit on, beat up,  even though I excelled in many things.  In the workplace, I needed a paycheck and put up with horrendous behavior at the hand s of a so-called program director, who went as far as to make fun of me whenever I opened my mouth to speak. ( I think that to be honest, workplace bullying is the worst, because you are an adult, and feel that you don’t have to put up with it, but still do. )  For me, this went on for 6 years. All this takes a toll on you as a human, and from reading studies about it, I’ve realized it actually changes your DNA in your brain, causing all kinds of mental health issues that can resurface at any time.

You hear people say to you, “You just need to let it go,” which I thought I did.  I never thought that I could have suffered from PTSD.  I thought it was for people like veterans and the like.  But oh, I was wrong.  So wrong.  PTSD can be subtle, and mild to severe. It wasn’t until someone pointed out some of my symptoms that I’ve realized, that is exactly what I have been suffering from. I am a mild sufferer of PTSD.

Am I completely cured and can I cure it?  Here’s the funny thing;  people tell you to ‘let go’, but PTSD people cannot.  It’s hardwired in their brains.  How can you get something that’s hardwired in your brain to ‘let go’?  You can’t.  You have to accept that is the way it is, and learn to deal with it.  Here’s some symptoms of mild PTSD.

1.  Lack of true trust in anyone or anything.
2. “Walls” around yourself, so no one can know the real you.My aunt used to say I was like an”M&M”.  Hard on the outside, soft on the inside.(Which was my coping skill growing up).
3.  Inner anger, that can be triggered by anything that is linked to former bullying episodes.
4. Tendency to ‘shut down’ and not communicate.
5. Avoiding people, or wanted to ‘just blend’ in.
6. Feeling of worthlessness, and frustration
7. Little things annoy you, causing outbursts.
8. You seem moody, almost like bi-polar, but still cope and have a family, career and somewhat social life.
9. Have anxiety or depression.
10. Tend to be moody, or brooding.
11. Dire need to be understood, and accepted, even if there is further abuse.
12. Sometimes, you are an overachiever, trying to prove the bullies wrong. In my case, it was a go-go-go attitude. It almost seemed manic, without stop.

Recently, I had some ‘people’ do and say some very cruel things about me behind my back.  I was hurt beyond mention. It takes me a very long time to trust people(symptom of PTSD), and I dealt with it for the first time, in the right way.  This made me feel empowered, and has helped my though patterns.  In the past, I used to get very angry,  held it in, and fly off the handle at other things, even tiny ones.  I’ve always been a very high energy person also.  So my moodiness was often seen as manic episodes, and all kinds of other things.  But anyone who also knows me, knows that I am a very careful planner, non-impulsive, and up until recently, even though I’d be down a little, I’d pull myself out of it.  By doing this, I has something else to put my focus on. I’ve been out of my hell job for three years, and for some reason, it has recently reared it’s ugly head. This is also very common, by-the-way.  It’s also common for PTSD victims to keep repeating the patterns that caused the bullying.

We are still all learning up until the day we die.  For me, the bullying pattern was created by  a lack of communication.  Whenever someone attacks me, I go into survival mode.  I get extremely quiet and go to shut down, like I did when I was 10.  But the reason why I’m writing this is because this time, I did a coupe of things differently.  And it really helped me feel in control.  See, that’s one of the main causes of PTSD, a lack of control.  Things are done to you that you cannot control.  That’s where the anger comes from. In my case, I never stood up for myself.  It always seemed like it made matters worse.  But for the first time, I STOOD MY GROUND.

Things That Are Helping Me

These are some thoughts and things I did to begin learning to manage my PTSD. So far, although we cannot completely heal from PTSD, we can manage it and become happier and healthier humans.

1.  What people think of you is not your business.  Stay in your own lane. Remember this and use this as a mantra each morning.
2. Do not let abuse go unacknowledged, thinking it will just go away.
3. Think out what you want to say to the bully.  I practiced it and even wrote it down.
4.   Force yourself to state your piece, calmly and clearly.(Hardest FOR ME!)Tell these people clearly that you won’t take their abuse.(Try to keep all emotion out of the equation). Don’t keep running away!
5. If necessary, refuse to go back for more.  Don’t go back into the space that got you there to begin with.
6. Find something you love, and do it, every day, if even 5 minutes.
7. Be grateful for what you have, and even for the opportunity to grow from the bullying.
8. Surround yourself with positive people, friends and family.

As of right now,  I am still in contact with these people who just said nasty things behind my back.(You do realize that talking behind your back is a form of bullying, right?) People do that a lot, but the difference was, is that they gained my trust, something that is very difficult for me.  That’s why I was so hurt.

I’m pretty sure, in the near future, I will be done associating with these people.   I have been contemplating this, and know that they are negative, judgmental people.  They talk about everyone else, so why would I assume they wouldn’t talk about me?  DUH? My problem is that as a child, I wanted to be accepted as part of the group so badly, that I was willing to be abused.  This pattern has repeated itself many times.  I now just cut many people out of my life.  It has been hard, but removing the issue is helping.

Just remember, you are a precious part of God.  You deserve respect, and love.  You don’t have to keep putting up with abuse and you also don’t have to keep being a victim of it.  Will things resurface? You bet. PTSD just doesn’t go away. But maybe some things I’m offering can help manage it’s symptoms. Remember, there are people who care. I do. Bless all of you with love and light.

Lana

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So..how is evetyone? I’ve been having a few health problems myself, so I hope you are good.

As most of you all know, I’m not just a psychic/medium, but also a farm owner, gardener, artist and especially, a Middle School teacher. And that’s why I’m writing. I’ve been teaching for 28 years and I cannot believe people have the blindness to say that the full moon doesn’t affect you. Ask, any teacher, they will BEG to differ. (And it’s not only the phases of the moon, but weather patterns affect your body and chakras also.)

Recent studies have supposedly shown that the moon does not affect us or has little effect, although it DOES create higher tides. Now, here is MY question; if the moon can affect an ENTIRE ocean, and we are 90% water, then why wouldn’t it affect a much smaller entity, like a body? After seeing some of my student’s behavior, I KNOW the full moon and Super Moon affects us. And in more ways than one. This Super moon is a great thing for us spiritually, but be aware of the physical symptoms as well. Just get through the week and be awsre of it’s symptoms.

How the Super Moon Can Affect Us Physically

1. Researchers have proven that a full/ Super moon can affect sleep andcause a decrease in melatonin.

2. Causes increased birthrates, and ovulation cycles.

3. Increased problems with kidneys.

4. Tendency to be accident prone.

How the the Super Moon Can Affect Us Spiritually

1. You may have a deep desire for change.

2. Old wounds that may not have healed have resurfaced.

3. You dreams may be more vivid and those who have passed may come in your dreams.

4. You may experience anxiety and don’t know why.

5. Feel like something big is shifting, but don’t know what.

So if you have experienced any of this, just be awate thst it IS really the moon. Most symptoms will psss. Don’t make hasty decisions, but now is a great time for renewal and letting go.

https://images.app.goo.gl/iwxYQDtY1eru4AbV6

Hello, dear readers!  I hope that everything is well with all of you.  With me, not so much, I I will tell tell you about some information that I received recently and share it with you.  This information might explain your issues in your life, like it did for me.

Anyone that knows me, knows I’m overweight.  I’m not proud of it.  Matter -of-fact, I’ve spent many days wasting my timing inters as people made their little ‘snarky’ comments.  The fact is, it just doesn’t want to come off.  I have PLENTY of willpower(Sick of people telling me that I don’t!!!!!), I love to exercise, and if you can keep up with me, go for it! I haven’t eaten a piece of bread or had potatoes in years.  But I’m still very overweight(none of your business how much).

My story is quite a lengthy one.  I was overweight growing up, but slimmed down through my teens and twenties.  I played semi-professional tennis and was exercising 6 hours per day.  Then, I ate whatever I wanted without gaining.  It wasn’t until I had my children that I put on weight. And I put it on quickly. After my second daughter I gained more than 70 lbs. in less than a year.  I attributed it to not exercising, even though I was still active(walking 2 miles every day or more), and eating 1200-1500 calories.

I know my metabolism is slow. My bodytemeprature is low, my heartbeat is only 48 at night! But here’s the real kicker;  even though I’m overweight, every other number is perfect; my blood pressure,  my cholesterol, and even my thyroid T3 and T4. My nurse commented that my numbers look like I’m a thirty year old!

This doesn’t make sense.  I tried every diet, and nothing would come off.  “Try your thyroid”, the dieticians would say, when I argued with them that I wasn’t ‘cheating’ on my diets.  I even went to far as to get a lapland put in, and actually weigh the same as before.  Finally, the last straw came when it was my daughter who helped me figure out what was wrong.

My daughter had been having problems with her health for awhile now.  She was dizzy, extremely tired, had palpitations, severe anxiety and tingling in her hands.  I told her it was her thyroid.  My great-grandma, grandma, and mother all had goiters, or Hashimoto’s syndrome; the thyroid gland become swollen and does not work properly due to an autoimmune response. Very hereditary. But she tested negative.  That was until her car accident.

She had been teaching someone to drive, and they had a car accident.  She hurt her neck, pretty badly.  They took an X-ray, and what did they find.  Her vertebrae were fine, but she had a goiter!(A goiter is a swelling in your thyroid, which usually causes it to not work properly.)  I had an aha! moment.  How much you wanna bet my thyroid wasn’t working properly.

So I had it tested, and yes, I had the antibodies for Hashimoto’s Disease, which is an autoimmune response which causes your body to attack your thyroid.  But all my number were normal.  What was going on?

Sometimes, some of us people have intense protection we were born with that protects us.  I am SURE that I have a gene pattern that caused my ancestors from dying from the Black Plague.  My whole family has the ability to ‘wall off’ disease, and prevent infections, etc.  I’ll explain that later, but I am sure I’m right.  So actually, I have this disease, but my body tries hard to keep things working ok. That explains my low body temperature, heartbeat, and extra weight.

Could you also have these symptoms?  Ask your doctor for a thyroid antibody test.  The test is called Thyroid Peridoxidase Test. It could explain a lot! And maybe you are like me and it has a tendency to ‘hide’.  It’s worth a try and boy, I feel so much better knowing that my weight is really not my fault.  Let me know if you do this.  I want to hear from you!

 

Hello all of my readers! I hope you are well. I live here in Wisconsin and it’s very, very snowy. But I wanted to touch base with some of you about what I’m doing lately to teaching and classes. Right now, where I live, I’m teaching beginning Psychometry classes(the art of ‘reading’ objects.) I found this to be beneficial when I began to read, so I’m teaching that to some of my students.

When I was thirty, I began my psychic career. My mom had just passed and I was somewhat “lost”. I took a Reiki trai ing class with a friend, and started practicing on some clients. Now this in itself is not so special, but I also started ‘reading’ them. I told them all about themselves and their lives, including detail and ‘people’ that were telling me things. (I didn’t know that these people were dead-end I was a medium). I discovered that  I was reading them through their energy.

All things have energy, just like Einstein said.  Things are always in motion, even if they are objects.  These objects also absorb energy, for good or for bad.  For example above, I’ve taking care of two plants.  One I tell it how wonderful it is, and the other I tell it it’s ugly, and I hate it.  Well, the one I gave negative energy to is dying.  You can see some pictures above. These plants take that energy for bad or good, just like all objects around us. Have you ever gotten a bad feeling from something, or someone? I bet you know then what I’m talking about.  Objects hold energy from love to hate, to fear to joy.  I’m just picking that emotion off of the object.

Psychometry is a good beginning for those who are interested in learning to read. It’s far simpler than learning nuances of cards.  It’s also open a gateway to better psychic ability.

How To Read An object

1.  As a beginner, you need to find an object that has tons of energy on it.  Maybe some type of jewelry.  I always used to start with something metal because it conducted electricity the best. Start with a piece you have some knowledge about.  Maybe a friend’s ring.

2.  Say a prayer to God and your angels for protection of white light and guidance.  Don’t forget this; you don’t want anything negative to be absorbed, and trust me, this can happen.

3.  Begin a meditation.  You want your brain waves at a theta level.  Maybe wait fifteen minutes before you try the reading.

3.  Go to a quiet room, with no distractions.  Close your eyes.  Listen, look , feel, and smell.  DO you get any pictures in your head? Write down what comes first to your mind.  Maybe it’s a feeling or vision.  DO you hear anything?  Write it down. Do this every day.  Keep practicing.  And the most important; QUIT DOUBTING YOURSELF!  I have found that this is the number one barrier to being a good reader; doubt will get to you every time.  And have to believe in yourself.  If you can do this, it’s a cinch.

4.  Close yourself off and ask for protection again.  Make this your ritual.

4.  Keep practicing.  I can guarantee that you can do this!  It just takes practice and a willing attitude.

 

I’ve been reading now for about 22 years or so. I’m beginning to get a lot of readings throughout the week. And we all know, one gets better with practice. Well, I recently scared myself by having too much accuracy. Let me explain myself.

Everyone’s skills are different, just like our personalities. My skills are animals, health, mediumship, auras and time frames. Time frames have become one of my specialties recently. I’ve always had the ability to give general timeframes within a few weeks, but suddenly, I am able to predict to the day, even national events. If anyone visits my fb page, they will see what I mean.

What is so scary is the fact that I’m accurate enough to go public. I still doubt myself, though. What if I’m wrong? Will I look like a fool? So far, everything is right. This is what I’ve decided to do with the fear.

Anyone who does readings doubts themselves. Psychics are NEVER 100% accurate. We can’t be, due to Free Will. Anyone can change situations if tge want. But some things are destiny.

But these predictions can be scary. It all comes down to confidence. This is what I rely on and know for sure; God gives me the information, do what you will with it. I trust what I’m told to be the right thing. I’m the medium; the go between. I pray before I start, and after I’m done. Then I let go of it. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. I need to also let go of my ego. I need to remember it’s not about me. That seems to help.

If you are honing your gifts and are scared, just let go of your human ego, and let your gifts flow to who needs them.

 

Hello, all of you wonderful followers out there!  So I’ve been reading about all the plastic waste in the ocean.  I remember as a child(AND I’M NOT THAT OLD!) that someday the ocean MIGHT be polluted, according to scientists.  Wow, what an understatement! Americans are one of the worst offenders, using 500,000,000 straws PER day!  I had no idea that I was using so many myself, until I paid attention to it.  This was my New Year’s resolution; stop using plastic straws.  I thought it was one that would be a no brainer. Boy was I wrong!

Firstly, you have to make it a habit.  My first step was to remember to tell the cashier or waitress not to give me one.  It is so engrained in my habits, I ended up drinking out of it half the time before I realized what I was doing. I also bought some biodegradable straws, and then some reusable metal.  Finally, I started just drinking my beverages out of the cups. And you know what?  I’m glad I did.  I lost something a long time ago that I didn’t even realize.

After drinking drinks from my cup, I realized my drinks actually tasted good!  Straws have a habit of causing the the liquid to hit the back of your throat, where little to no taste buds are. ( i know you know this but, but I thought I’d repeat it.)  And this is what happened.

I think from drinking everything from a straw for half my life, I lost some taste.  Things seemed a little bland, much like water.  After beginning to drink 95% from a cup or glass, slowly my taste buds returned.  I started to actually enjoy my Iced Tea, and pop again.  I never realized I was even missing it!

So I challenge you, for the sake of the Earth and your taste buds, try drinking with no straw.  I’m so happy I did!

Hello everyone, been gone due to the extremes in weather….it’s -32 here, and trying to keep my animals alive and warm! I hope everyone is well, and I will say prayers for all of you.

I’ve been asked many times certain things, and honestly, I admit the more I learn the more I realize that I have much more to learn! Many people ask me questions, and I reply with what I know. Because not many people have met their twin-flame, and I have(at least I believe so), they want to know the differences between them, and how to know. SO I am going to explain them in terms that everyone I believe can understand.

The Silver Cord

Firstly, we are all attached to our soulmates, twin souls and twin flmaes by a silver cord. (This is biblical, if you want to look it up).  That’s why we feel so bad when someone finally ‘cuts’ our cords;  I know that when my mom died, I pulled over to the side of the road and threw up, even though I didn’t know she died.  Our cords were cut. You have many many cords with all of these people, and some cords are much thicker than others, especially a twin soul or twin flame connection.  And by-the-way, the cords connect right near your navel, you know, the place that we often get that ‘gut’ feeling?  Yeah that’s right, that is the seat of your soul.

Soul Mates/ Soul Family

I understand and accept that we have lived before.  I was not raised that wya, but throughout my life and exploration, I’ve realized that we have so many lessons to learn, that we live many, many times.  I truly believe that we can’t experience all of our lessons that we need to learn to become God-like as possible, so we come back multiple times to learn what we can.  And if we are doing this, so are thousands and thousands of people who we’ve been with before, experiencing the same things, each with their own mission and lessons.  These people you reincarnate are part of your soul family. These could be your brother, sister, grandparents, moms, dads, friends or spouses.  They could even be your enemies! We all have a group of people that we choose to reincarnate with, over and over.  Many people believe that our as soul family, we were all created by God at the same time, in about 2000 people or so at a time.  We can interact with other soul families, even having friends, and even mates, but these 2000 or so people are the ones that we have mostly lived most of our lives with, and have karma, for good for for bad.   I personally have and recognize people in my soul family, but as a medium and psychic, I interact with other soul families, and begin to have karma with them also, so my family is growing.

Now these people are soul mates.  You may hate them, or love them, but they are there to teach you a lesson, or to balance out your karma. the old adage “What goes around, comes around.” is evident here.  I know I have a few people that have non-stopped bullying me, and I often wonder if it’s not payback from another life.  And if not, I guess, I’ll pay it back next time!

Twin Souls:  Your kindred spirits

Twin souls are another thing.  They are people we’ve shared many, many similar experiences together.  Twin souls have the same resonance.  Someone may find that they have an uncanny similarity to that person.  They may have had the same experiences, likes, dislikes, dreams and aspirations. One often feels like they ‘know’ this person. (And they are right, they do!).  The two have spent so many lifetimes together, they have pretty much the same imprint of their souls.  You do have a ‘kindred spirit’ kind of connection, and you usually like or even love that person.  It can be of either sex, and can even be your parent, or relative, or just best friend.

Twin Flames:  The Greatest Love of ALL

‘In the beginning, God created male and female, and blessed them.’ We all know that story of creation, but many people don’t quite get the whole thing.  God created us as a whole, and then split us into female and male energies.  (I believe that is what marriage is supposed to mimic, the twin flame connection). Some people don’t believe this, but I do, because I have met my twin flame. Most of the time, your twin flame is on the other side, acting as a person’s guide.  It’s quite rare to meet them face-to-face. There’s a reason why the two of you come together in this lifetimes; it’s to make the world a better place, to do something for the betterment of Earth or mankind.But there is a catch; sometimes the energy is so intense, that the two of you cannot get together to complete your task.

Twin flames are the most difficult relationship you will ever experience.  You are supposed to be effortless, but I have found that not to be true because of all of the karma from other lives.  You are supposed to come together for the benefit of mankind, but it seems that one of the tow is more evolved than the other, and constantly tries to help elevate the weaker one with their issues.  The true purpose of twin flames is to eventually entwine and be reabsorbed back to the God-head. Your souls are so connected, you can’t get away or hide from them.  You basically have an agenda with them. But they may have issues to work out to catch up to you.

I know that my twin flame is an alcoholic.  I love him so much, I cannot describe it.  Am I married to him?  No, I am married to a soulmate.  I love my husband, but I am fully  aware of our karma. But I KNOW for a fact, that my twin flame has his own demons to deal with. Matter-of-fact, so twinflames can eventually join, they must be in the same place spiritually. I’ve already experienced addiction in another lifetime. Now it’s his turn. It’s also not uncommon to have one twinflame be much more’together’ than the other. Sometimes we offer support, sometimes we don’t. Right now he is playing the ‘runbrr’, he can’t handle the intensity of our relationship, so he runs away. I ‘m sure he be back eventually.  He can’t stay away. The connection is too tense. I’ll just wait.

So as you can see, these three relationships are different and get confused easily. How do you know which is which? That’s a whole other blog page…..

 

 

 

 

 

So, I am a coffeeaholic. I LOVE frozen mochas, frappes, and frappachinos. They have been my life. Up until my wonderful hormonal change and thyroid debacle.(I’m trying to treat this naturally, but I’m pretty sure I will be put on medicine. Ah,those genetics.) I was only drinking one per day, usually a Venti iced coffee in the morning to wake me up.

Over the last couple of years, I have lost my ability to sleep. I just can’t sleep through the night anymore, be it from having to go to the bathroom, or ‘jerking’ awake. I blamed it on stress. It had to be that, right?

I’ve been lucky to never have high blood pressure. It’s always been very low. But with all this hormonal stuff going on, and the lack of sleep, I started developing high blood pressure, and began getting dizzy. It was high enough that it scared me. I slowly got off my caffeine, figuring it wasn’t helping with my anxiety, either.

These are the things that happened after I quit coffee. I was surprised how small they were. PAY ATTENTION TO YOURSELF! I am convinced that caffeine can cause all types of problems you don’t even realize. It not only raises your blood pressure, but other things as well.

1. Hair grows in better; caffeine gets locked in the hair follicles and causes frizziness and breakage. It’s also thicker, and shinier.

2. Dehydration, which can make one look older, and possibly even a heart attack!

3. Anxiety(of course).

4. May change the medicine requirements that one is taking and their effectiveness.

5. Cause heart palpitations, which can eventually cause a stroke!

6. Causes adrenalin fatigue, which causes a myriad of hormonal problems.( Visit a website for more info.)

7. Can increase cortisol(can also be from adrenalin fatigue also), which can cause diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.

8. Better, more sound sleep.

So do you think that caffeine is so harmless? I admit, I still drink iced tea, which of course, has a small amount of caffeine, but never again will I drink large amounts again. Actually, it has approximately 1/4 as much as coffee. (I only drink some tea occasionally with my meals.) And you know what? I DO feel better, and my mind doesn’t need the ‘rush’ in the morning any longer. Try it for a month, I bet you will feel better!

So, since going through my hormone changes, my body is definitely not the same. It actually sucks, but getting older usually does. I’ve been taking some supplements from one of my Acupuncturists, and they did help with my anxiety and depression. I know that anxiety is especially the worst at Winter, when I just don’t get enough sunlight. I also supplement myself with B12 and D3 shots every month or two. That does help. But I found something that works every time for me, and the doctors don’t want you to know about it. Its even lowers my blood pressure(It’s not really high, but a little as I’ve gotten older.) The secret is simple as an orange.

Let me reiterate on this. Doctors do NOT want you to know, and to be honest, when they’ve seen my numbers come down so drastically, they can’t believe it either. (That’s because they’ve been bought out by pharmaceuticals, but that’s a different blog). I’m sure you have this simple remedy in your home already; vitamin C.

I’m not sure why people don’t know more about this. There are so many studies done on this, it’s unbelievable. Just eating an orange reduces cortisol and increases dopamine(Psychology Today, June 9th, 2018). And many people THINK they are getting enough by taking a multivitamin, but I will say this to you, you need vitamin C in a LIQUID form. Pills only absorb at about 30% in the stomach and then are passed through. Don’t take it either in orangejuice; there is too much sugar. Just plain, ordinary vitamin C liquid. It can be added to water or tea.

But how much is too much? Even though vitamin C is water soluble, meaning that you pass out the excess, too much has been linked to kidney stones. There needs to be just enough for overall health. I personally drink one teaspoon per day, which is the equivalent to approximately 500mm. And I will tell you folks, IT WORKS!!!!!!

Now think about this logically, from an educated mind. Vitamin C comes from some of the best plants on the planet. It floods your body with anti-oxidants. Some people even say prevents cancer(ScienceDaily, 2009). It also lowers blood pressure, by helping to soften arteries. Wow, something that simple can be a huge benefit?

So just try this for a week or two; buy some liquid Vitamin C, and keep track of your anxiety and blood pressure, I bet you will watch it lower. I kept a log and watched my blood pressure come down 30 points! It’s so much worth it to at least try.