As you get older, it just seems to come up, FOR EVERYONE. You know, all those emotions that you’ve pushed down for so long;  the hurt of a spouse’s betrayal, the bullies at school when you were five, the anger at not getting the job you feel like you so deserve.  They’re all there though, just waiting to rear their ugly head.  At some point, they must be dealt with and released.  But what happens when they’re not your current lifetime emotions? What if you were your ancestor’s emotions or emotions from another life.

Yes, they are real.  Science has proven that we inherit our emotions up to 14 generations from our ancestors (Science 21 April 2017, Vol. 356) All the pain, sorrow and anger can be carried in our DNA. Just look at Holocaust survivors; it has been proven that children of survivors suffer from post traumatic stress form their parents and grandparents(http://dx.dol.org/10.1016j.biopsych2015.08.005)

So, we acquire negative emotions from this life, from past lives, and from our parents.  No wonder there is so much unhappiness, so much anxiety and depression that we’re all trying to get rid of.  But the question is, how DO we get rid of these memories, move one and have a productive life?

Three Types of Negative Emotions Explained

The three places you can pick up negative emotions are;

Acquired:  These emotions are an accumulation of traumas, minor or major in this lifetime.  These can include abuse to unfair treatment.  All these emotions are negative, either way.  These are the freshest and sometimes are still open wounds.  We often push them down until we can deal with them.

Past-life;  These are absorbed from your past life.  Anyone who has an unknown phobia or aversion to something may be having a past-life emotion.  I know from the age of 4 years old, I would scream and cry if I even heard the word ‘tornado’.  It wasn’t until I pursued some release methods that I was able to release the fact that I had died in a tornado in Nebraska in the 19th Century.(This release helped me remember it clearly and release the emotion attached to it).

Inherited Memories:  I was new to this until recently.  I was looking for a reason for my blocks to feeling ‘stuck’ in my current life.  It took many years for me to begin practicing as a psychic/medium;  I had a lot of fear for some reason. This was when I did some release techniques and realized that I had an ancestor who was a Jewish Gypsy(Yeah, I didn’t know they existed until I did research!), who had been put to death for practicing as a psychic medium. I also had to release a terrifying ordeal of a great-great-great grandparent who had been through a very large fire in Milwaukee in the 19th Century, something that I did not know, but when I received emotional release therapy, I ‘let go’ pf these traumas that I hadn’t experienced. ( I could see and hear EVERYTHING through my ancestors. It was horrible; and I looked this up, and yes, this DID happen!)

So the next question for you is;  we now know the types of negative emotions, how do we get rid of them?

Releasing Negative Emotions 101

I have come across four different things that I’ve experienced that have helped me.  There may be more that have worked for others, and if any of you know of any other methods, send me a message.  I’d love to learn from you!

EMDR

Eye Movement Dedensitizing and Restructuring has been around for about forty years.  It’s a method that some psychologists have used in the office to help ‘disassociate’ the person from their emotions, helping the person to recognize what happened to them, but releasing the emotion attached to the event.  I have tried this and yes, it works to some extent.  It helped me with some of my acquired negative emotions that I suffered from bullying throughout my current life.

Hypnotic Regression

Hypnotic regression helps with both acquired and past-life emotions.  I have found it extremely useful in past-life emotions, where my feelings didn’t sometimes make sense, but were very strong.  A lot of emotions can be released in just one session.  This can be done in self-hypnosis, but I found having another to guide you through the session was very valuable.  There are many good, loving hypnotists out there that specialize in past-life regression.  I became a hypnotist after having one of these sessions because I know this method helps so much.  You can even do it over the phone.  I have several clients that I’ve helped greatly by doing this.

Reiki; Emotional Release

I am a Reiki practitioner and emotional healer.  I thought I knew most of everything.  That was until I took an emotional release Reiki session on the Heart Wall.  There are several books out about it; there is also something referred to as the heart wall(Emotion Code, Nelson, 2012).  This is a build up of negative emotions that are keeping you from experiencing your life to the fullest.

I learned a lot from this;  I had been holding onto a LOT of baggage from this life, and my past lives, but I also had a quite a bit of baggage from my ancestors.  Like I said, there was trauma that I was carrying from them that I didn’t even know about.  It has taken several visits, but I can say that things are much better in my life and I don’t feel so blocked.

Self Healing Through Meditation

Yes, you can heal through meditation.  There are several meditation styles to look through.  You can also do a group meditation or a guided meditation with a meditation instructor.  (I am also certified in that also).  Meditation has helped me sustain my healing, but I have personally sought out people as guides. This is an ongoing process, while some of the other techniques are for a specific time.

Summing it All UP

So, yes, you CAN release these different types of emotions; acquired, past-life and inherited.  Some will be much harder than others.  But as we evolve, we are learning tools and using them to live our best lives. Remember to be kind to yourself through the process;  sometimes you will be mad, sometimes you will cry.  After one session I woke in the middle of the night, madder than hell, and I didn’t know why.  But my soul was merely releasing those emotions to help me heal.  This may happen to you also.  You may have emotional symptoms for several days after the session when they released and when you have finally ‘let go.’ It’s ok.  Remember to take care of yourself; drink plenty of water, keep meditating and doing something you enjoy.  Balance, balance, balance.

Please feel free to message me with ideas or if you you’d be interested in meditation, hypnosis or a psychic reading.  I would like to be of service to you.

These memories are the the newest and often the freshest ‘wounds’ to our subconscious.  These are the ones we have acquired in this lifetime.

Empaths:  What  I’ve Found to Protect Myself

 

Yeah, we can be loud.  Yes, we can be somewhat intense.  We can have anxiety disorders and ADHD, among others.  We’re doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers and street workers, and yes, we’re all empaths.  If you’re reading this, I bet you know that you’re one, too. (Empath test and quiz on my FB page).

 

From my experience at doing thousands of readings as a medium, it seems to me that about up to 1/3 of people today are empaths, and as the new generation evolves, there are more and more of us. And yet, there are dark souls still out there; the ones that want to take advantage of you, suck your soul dry, and dampen your light. They are only ‘in it’ for themselves.  There are even people who I’ve seen that were empaths but have turned off their ability for some reason or another, and try to do damage to us shining stars.

 

Either way, from what I’ve studied and learned from others over the years is that there are several ways to keep yourself from being abused, mistreated and avoid picking up negative energy from those who throw darkness at you.  I personally, use most of these techniques to keep myself clear and grounded after I’ve done many readings, or have come into contact with a really negative person or situation.

 

#1:   Stoneware

 

We empaths understand and appreciate crystals.  I find it quite humorous that science has declared gemology a ‘pseudoscience’, when they’ve been using crystals in radios to conduct electricity for a hundred years.  I’d love to show one of my frequently worn crystals that has clouded or cracked in half after reading for a particularly negative person to one of those scientists. I know they wouldn’t believe me.

 

Some of these crystal changes are just amazing.  Usually for me, the crystals not only cloud, but turn more white, even things like citrine.  I cleanse my stones like I am supposed to; I personally use sunshine or salt water.  But still, there have been many favorite pieces of quartz crystals, amethysts and such that I had to simply retire.

 

Now, with all that said, I’m going to give you a couple of my favorites that seem to work for me as protection; some of you wonderfully gifted empaths might find something else that works.  All I know is that I won’t be caught without them, especially if I’m reading psychically.   I even put several stones on my table when I lay cards for people.  I lay them around myself, and in front of a client.  When I feel that their energy is not negative, I move my stones to the side.  This has helped me a lot.

 

 

 

Tourmaline, Tourmaline, Tourmaline

I can’t say enough about this wonderful stone.  This is my favorite black stone(it comes in other colors).  It seems to absorb all the putrid garbage around you.  It protects from bad intentions also. I wear it every day, particularly in large crowds.  My second choice would probably be obsidian.  Any black stone has these qualities.

 

Seraphinite

I just love this stone and fell in love with it the first time I put it on.  It’s supposed to help you connect with your angels.  I wear it as a ring every day.  I seem to see the other side clearer when I wear it.

 

Clear quartz or Smoky Quartz

 

These are just always needed.  It helps me keep my aura clear, and helps me reflect love.  They act as a ‘shock absorber’ when I meet people with evil intentions.

 

Magnets

I wear magnets wherever I go.  Not magnetite, just plain ole’ dollar store cheap magnets. Yes, I can feel when I don’t have them on, and it decreases my anxiety, depression, levels my mood, and controls heart palpitations.  Magnets also amplify whatever stone you are wearing. I swear by them.

 

Moonstone

I love moonstone, and I’ve found them to be very beneficial to regulate my hormone imbalances.  I haven’t yet cracked or clouded one, which is a good thing.  I wear these in conjunction with my magnets.

 

 

#2 What works for me:  Imagination and Meditation

 

What I have found is that I am able to turn ‘off’ my empathic ability to a certain extent.  I’ve been an Art teacher for over 27 years, and have learned how to ‘not’ let any of the negative situations adversely affect me.  There are times, yes, that it has gotten to me, but as an empathy who has taught for 27 years, I feel that’s a good track record for not completely burning out.

 

I learned to ‘turn off’ my ability from a fellow empath.  I imagine that there is a beautiful blue-green (healing colors) pyramid around me.  Nothing can get in unless I invite it.  It is warm, and love and I feel safe and secure.  I put it around me when I’m feeling negativity from individuals or even when walking into a room.

Another technique is to imagine a mirror in front of you, and all the negative energy bounces back to the negative entity.

 

I also try to meditate every day for ten minutes in the morning.  I can tell when I forget to meditate for the day; t’s like I’m an aggressive beast.  Even close friends will point out the differences in my energy and anxiety.

 

 

 

#3:  Learn to Say No

 

It sounds so simple; try not to take on more than you can handle.  It’s just not that simple with us empaths.  We want to help EVERYBODY and EVERTHING. We feel their pain, their frustration, their anger.  We want to make everything ok for EVERYBODY.  We have to learn how to stop and realize that we are only one person.  It’s ok to NOT do everything.  We wear ourselves out, and are then not good to ANYONE.  Say no to the extras sometimes.  It’s empowering, and it doesn’t make you less wonderful person that you are.

 

This learning to say no also applies to bullying.  Empaths often put up with being pushed around so we don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.  People take advantage of us and our good nature.  They make fun of us behind our backs, view us as ‘pushovers’.  We avoid standing up to someone for fear of ‘causing trouble’ or creating negative energy.  In the meantime, wheat are we causing for ourselves?  Negative energy on the ‘inside.’

 

Take it from me as a person who suffered for years in a bullying workplace situation, it left me drained and unhappy.  It wasn’t until I looked someone straight in the eye and said aloud to them, “No, I’m not putting up with your garbage anymore” that I found true peace.  We are empaths, but we are also human beings.  We deserve to have respect and consideration. Don’t allow yourself to be put in situations where people abuse you.  Use your voice. We empaths have more power than we could ever imagine!

 

These are only three things that I have found that have helped.  There are many more.  In later blogs I will give more ideas.  I am also always willing to hear feedback and what works for each and every one of us.  As empaths, we need to love and support each other on our life’s mission, which is love.  Love for others as well as ourselves.

 

So, I was bullied.  My whole life, matter of fact. Like most of us reading this. And it doesn’t leave us. Anyone who has been bullied can remember the time and day. We carry those memories with us for the rest of our lives.

I have a friend who is 75 now, and she had told me often about the pain of the kids who bullied her because she was poor and father was an immigrant. When she was six, she was given an invitation to a birthday party. She was so excited, she ran home to tell her mother. It wasn’t until she got home that she found out the party had already taken place the week before.

I had a similar experience of being ostracized.  When I was five, I was leaving kindrrgarten at the end of the day. I was all lined up, and one of the girls was passing out invitations. I held my hand out. But she skipped me.

“I don’t have one for you. You’re not coming. You’re fat.”

That was the first time I realized I was different. No one had pointed that out to me. This first transgression would be the first of many, many more, though my whole life.  Being young, I didn’t realize it was trauma.  But for me to remember that, it’s still there. I now can look at it without owning it, but the memory is still there(and to feel little to no emotion when relating it is a huge accomplishment for me as I relate it to you now).

Even when I was thin in High School, I was still bullied. And bullied  a lot(it’s difficult to talk about).Typical female, pulled apart, find every flaw. My boobs were too small, my hips too big. Not pretty enough. I was told I was ugly both at home and at school.( Here’s the real kicker: The people who picked on me the most were in my church youth group, the one place that you should be accepted. I still cannot belong to a church today  because of the  trama.)

Yes, and I do mean trauma. Constant bullying causes trauma. Studies have proven that. It actually changes your DNA and those of your children. Bullied people are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression . We bullied people know this.

Nearly every single person in the world has been bullied, but some more than others. But for me, I just kept muddling though, pushing it down, struggling with my self-esteem. I developed a moody, ‘tough, you aren’t going to get to me’ persona. (A coping mechanism, right?) What I didn’t realize is how many of us, especially women, are dealing with this issue, and carry the scars everyday).

For those of you who don’t know,  I’m a psychic medium.  I am also an emotional healer and an empath. People come to me for spiritual guidance. Although I’m a teacher, I have a background in Psychology,(among other things).  I find it interesting that I’m so empathic to those who are bullied.  Maybe that is what has made me who I am(Maybe I would have been a real asshole if I hadn’t been bullied, who knows?)

Now we come to the real point of the article: forgiveness.  I thought I had forgiven all these people. I just THOUGHT I had let it go. This was long  ago. Who cares now, right? You give people power to them when you can’t forgive. Every world religion uses forgiveness as one of their primary tennets. And forgiveness emcompasses more than bullying; it covers EVERYONE and EVERYTHING that has negatively affected them.

Let’s be honest: it’s not whether people have been bullied or not, but it’s how they come to terms with it. It becomes who they are, at a deep level and how they heal. And how they heal is what matters. Some people let it rule their lives while others let it go. Most of us are all somewhere in between, like me.

I have no easy fix for any of you; what I DO know is that everyone heals at different times. I am 51 and thought I had let my bullying all go.  WRONG! I realized that I had set up a victim mentality that has followed me through adulthood.  I actually “allowed” people to bully me, not wanting to cause trouble, letting them silence my voice. My voice of anger and resentment of being labeled “different” or “not good enough”,  this had festered into every aspect of life. I hadn’t realized it until had turned 50. At this age, I had become very distrustful, and a workaholic, trying to prove those “bullies” wrong.  It wasn’t until I started spiritually counseling others that I realized there many, many of us, particularly women who are just like me.

That’s where healing begins. These are the things that I know that have helped me. These things apply to all levels of forgivenezs and trauma.

1. Realize that you were  bullied.  Own this without shame and embarassment. It’s  not your fault. It never was. You are not weak for allowing it to happen.

2. Stop the ‘victim’ mentality. I found this very diificult because when I was bullied, I was ‘silenced’. I felt there was nothing I could do but take the abuse. My comunication skills became horrid, figuring the other person would ‘one up’ me anyways. I broke through that by forcing myself to voice my opinion, at even putting my job at risk. It’s very empowering. Taking small strides in tiny ways helps. Force yourself. 

3. Accept that this bullying has become a part of you, and how you deal with the world.

4. You need to realize you will always have some self-esteem issues.

5. Be forgiving of YOURSELF, most of all.  Be gentle with yourself.  You can’t forgive others until you forgive and accept yourself. Forgive your devisoons, for good or for bad.

6.   Remember forgiving people is not automatic. It takes time.

7.  There will be good days and bad. You may have  days that you thought you forgave, and then the anger floods back. It’s ok. It’s a process. Remember, be gentle with yourself, right?

8.  Write, journal, paint, do SOMETHING with those emotions. Cry into a pillow if need be. It helps, trust me.

9.   Help others. This is a primal human need. Listen to other’s stories. Help the less fortunate. It speeds the healing process.

And yes, like most of you, I’m somewhere in the middle. Some days are good, some are bad. What I’m trying to do is make more days good than bad. That’s a sign of the beginning of true healing. And it has started happening.

And this is everything I know.

This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it.